You ever have that feeling when everything just feels right and aligned? You feel at peace and content. That was this part of my life. Everything felt right with my soul. I was in love with my surfer - who was also my best friend, I was living in sunny southern California, I just got a great job and was part of the corporate world, was on my way to getting my own place and God willing, a car. All the pieces of my life were fitting into a picture perfect puzzle. This was not a coincidence and I did not get here by accident. I can’t even say that I planned it all this way…it was simply God. The ultimate creator, planner and all-knowing God. He had paved the way for me. He was blessing me with the desires of my heart. He promises He will, if we are pleasing to Him in Psalms 37:4; Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. When you look up the word ‘delight’ it is to 'please someone greatly'. So when we ‘delight’ ourselves in Him…He does the same for us! Pretty cool. Actually incredibly awesome. What a beautiful way to live. I had done my best to honor God from the time I was a child. He was a part of my life from the very beginning, and always in a big way. The very heart of me. I was not a perfect angel in every way, but I sure tried. I had a human nature to overcome and still am - that’s for sure - but I was doing it and I was living it, to the best of my ability. I was walking with God and doing all I could to fulfill my purpose here on earth, by honoring Him and living my life for Him. There simply was no other way. This is one of the many benefits of being a minister’s daughter. To be raised by a man that loved God the way my father did. To witness such love and passion for the love of God and for the truth of God’s word. To listen to him preaching, almost daily, whether behind a pulpit or counseling someone over the phone. He was all about God and all about serving others and putting their needs first. Every day he sat at the kitchen table writing article after article, about all the various subjects of the Bible. He worked on them literally 8-12 hours a day. Pulling all the Scriptures of the various subjects together bringing into view the full picture of what God expects and desires of us to truly know Him. Wow. It was something to witness and I took it to heart. He was wholly devoted and it was the most important thing in his life. It was his purpose - no doubt - to teach and help others, as God taught him. He was a man of dignity, integrity strength, loyalty and passion. He was such an inspiration to me, as was my mother. I am so blessed to be raised by two people who loved God as much as they did. They were an awesome team and example for so many, including me. They made me who I am today and I wouldn’t change a thing. I thank God every day for them and I know many others do too - that have been touched by them.
It was a great big world out there in California. I started looking for apartments. I looked at several and had settled on a complex that one of my friends used to live in. I had liked the place then and still did. They were clean, cute and convenient to Bible study and all my friends in Chula Vista. I called my parents and told them my plan. My mom, again, kind of gave me a hard time about getting an apartment. I thought, boy, is she ever going to get over the fact that I am living here now and be supportive to me? She was concerned about me being locked into a lease and paying so much money every month. She was concerned if things changed what would I do. What things? Well, what if things progress with you and the surfer? Oh, mom…there’s no way to know that! I have to live my life based on what I know now. She said, “I know, I just hate to see you pay all that money. How about if we get someone to get the motorhome out of storage for you and you could use that to live in for a little while. Save up some more money and see where things go? You spend all your time at the surfer’s anyway and he has a nice place.” I said, “Mom, I don’t want to live in the motorhome.” She said, "It would just be temporary and it would be free, all you would have to do is pay lot rent somewhere. Then when your dad and I come out we can help you find another place.” I really wanted to rent my own apartment and already knew how I would decorate it. I was so excited. She was so insistent though, so I told her I would look into it. She was so relieved. The surfer and my friends didn’t think it was a bad idea. They said the motorhome was nice, comfortable and familiar - it would feel like camping! Well, camping wasn’t my thing, but when I found out I could save four hundred dollars a month and would have a super small utility bill I caved. Not to mention, the place I found was only four blocks from the surfer. The location was ideal. There was a certain comfort to living in it. It made me somehow feel closer to my family - like a little slice of home. I didn’t have to buy furniture and it was more than enough room for one person. I was set. My parents would be out in roughly four months and we would go from there.
My mom was right…I was spending most my time at my surfer’s. As much as I could. We made dinners together, watched movies together, talked and had a blast together. All that time and privacy together was a bit of a test. Like I said, I wasn’t perfect. We were falling more and more in love with each other and I most certainly found myself having to resist temptation more and more. It made it easier that we were both living for God and that He had always respected me, and my beliefs, which were His now too. That was such a blessing. We were on the same team and both pulling for doing what was right. However, we were madly in love and it made it that much harder. I just didn’t want to be without him and loved every minute I was with him, it just felt natural. There was no one there to look over my shoulder anymore and no time to report home by. It was just the two of us. As much as I was tempted to give myself to him, I still had that greater pull for God. I still wanted to be pure and save myself for marriage. I wanted to honor my father and mother and wanted to fulfill that Scripture in Hebrews 13:4; Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled… it really meant something to me, deeply. I wanted to prove to my father that I could keep the commitment I made to him, and my mother, for God. I wanted to be an honorable daughter. I was glad that I still felt that way in my heart. I was glad it wasn’t just for the fear of getting caught, having to deal with my parents or getting in trouble. It was real, a real desire to please God in all respects. I was trying to please Him in all other areas of my life and I just couldn’t give in here either. I had to wait. So we helped each other to wait. We focused on building our relationship in other areas and kept God first and foremost in our relationship - in between heavy make out sessions that is. I desired him more than just for the physical part of it, I desired him even more because of who he was, and all that he was learning to be. He was a man of God. He had the most beautiful heart and soul. We were the most natural fit and I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.
I spent a lot more time with his family now, that I lived there, and joined them for family dinners on occasion. We all went to the Grand Canyon on a trip together. His mom and dad drove their motorhome and everyone piled in. It gave me a chance to know his siblings and nieces that lived in California better. His family was so much fun and so spirited, just like the surfer. We had a fantastic time together. It was nice to be a part of their family, when mine was so far away. They were kind and showed me so much love. They were grateful, at the turn around they had witnessed in their son since I came into his life. Being closer to his family gave me another level of feeling closer to him. One day, we were casually having a conversation about the future and I had thought about what my mom had said, “If things progress with the surfer…” I wondered if he had any of those ideas himself. We talked about it a little and the what if’s. It wasn’t a hugely serious conversation but we did talk about it. I don’t think either of us were ready to take that conversation any further. He had been married before briefly and had been terribly heartbroken when his dreams of marriage were crushed. It had left a gaping wound on his heart. He most certainly wasn’t going to jump in too soon again, and without a lot of thoughtful contemplation. That was fine with me because I was happy right where we were…as long as we were together.
The months flew by and my job was going great, so was my growing relationship with my surfer. I had settled in the motorhome and was having fun living there. It was easy and convenient. Things were good in my world and I was still looking ahead to the future and all that was still to come, praying fervently about it all. Before I knew it my parents were on their way out for the winter, and I was so happy to be seeing them and my little sister. I did miss them terribly. It would be like old times, but different. I wasn't sure exactly how it would all work out, with them coming, and me living here, but I knew we would figure it out. I certainly had no idea all the fireworks and surprises that would come along with them…and how even more desires of my heart would be made manifest.
♥️LGOF