Choices...


Once my parents left, we settled in our new apartment and my husband went to work in his new job.  He worked long days in Hollywood, sixteen hour days were standard in the film business.  This left me a lot of time to myself.  I explored the new city with interest and excitement.  Each day was a new experience as I walked around wide-eyed in this celebrity filled town, never knowing when I would run into someone famous.  They were everywhere, at my local bagel shop eating breakfast, at the local Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf getting a mocha blended, walking the streets shopping.  You could see anyone, doing just about anything here.  This is where famous people lived their every day life.  It was so bazaar.  There were Bentleys, Ferrari’s and Rolls Royce around every corner.  There was a Lamborghini dealer two blocks from my apartment.  I didn’t even have a car, being my husband was using the one car we had now, being he had a company vehicle in San Diego he couldn’t bring with us.  I was so close to the city I could walk everywhere, so didn’t really need one right away.  I tried new restaurants, explored new boutiques and shops and got to know what was around me.  I also found business’ that would serve my needs while we lived there.  I met locals, that would someday become friendly faces I looked forward to seeing every day.  I shared all these new insights with my husband when he would come home, and let him know of places we should try and people I had met.  He shared with me all of his incredible experiences on the jobs he was doing, and all of the interesting people he was meeting too.  I’ll never forget one day he came home and told me this story, “I was working at Universal Studios today and there was a man buzzing around on a golf cart.  Everybody was making such a fuss over it so I asked what the deal was.  They said it was Steven and I said, Steven who?  They said, Steven Spielberg!”   He was unimpressed because he didn’t really know who he was.  I laughed. “Honey, everyone knows who Steven Spielberg is!”  I then had to tell him some of the movies he had made so he could picture how infamous he was.  He said, “How should I know, you’re good at knowing who people are but I don’t have a clue.”  We laughed together.  This was all so radically different from our life in San Diego.  Things were happening all around us.  The city was bustling  and so were we.



My parents returned home to Minnesota shortly thereafter, being the winter season had come to a close.  In the months to come, my Dad would return with our close friend and his minister-in-training from San Diego.  He had scheduled television appearances on a local station to share his message from God.  This was an incredibly exciting opportunity for him, and was just what he was looking for to reach new people.  He was moving forward with his goals and taking full advantage of the opportunities God was giving him.  I noticed when he came to visit that he seemed slower and weaker than usual.  When we walked into town for dinner he was always behind us and towards the end he was limping.  He simply couldn’t keep up.  This concerned me.  We didn’t have great accommodations  but made the best of it when they came.  My Mom and Grams stayed home in Minnesota, as the trips were too short and were strictly for the television appearances. He would fly in and fly out for a week or less at a time, every couple weeks.  After coming to town several times, we came into a problem.  My husband’s daughter was coming to visit for the summer and we simply didn’t have enough room for everyone.  My husband and I pondered how we could possibly make it work.  There was no way.  We only spent part of the summer with his daughter once a year and it was special time for her to be with her Dad.  We couldn’t have people sleeping all over the floor in our apartment and still function.  My husband said to me, “You have to tell your Dad we can’t have him stay for the summer.  We need space for my daughter.”  I had this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.  How could I tell my Dad we didn’t have a place for him?  How could I possibly convey this so he could understand.  It was the first time in my life I was forced to choose between my husband and my Dad.  This was an impossible choice.  I knew my husband was right but couldn’t bear to tell my Dad.  I had always supported him in his ministry without question, and I didn’t want him to take this the wrong way.  There was simply nothing I could do to change the situation.  



I was so nervous, but at the end of his next trip, with knots in my stomach, I sat down with him at the dining room table.  “Dad, I need to talk to you.”  “Yes," he replied.  I nervously continued, "My step-daughter is coming shortly and we simply don’t have room for everyone here.  She only comes once a year and for a short time so we need to have a place for her to stay with us.  We just won’t have room for everyone, so won’t be able to have you stay with us the rest of the summer.  "  As the words came out of my mouth I was trembling inside and it felt like the air was hard to grasp.  I felt so terrible having to tell him this.  The look on his face was sheer disappointment.  I tried to explain and he simply said, “I understand.”  Even though, by his tone, I felt he didn’t.  When he picked up his suitcase and left afterwards, I watched him walk away from our front door.  I said, “I love you Dad” and he turned around, and I’ll never forget the look on his face…it was filled with sadness.  It literally ripped my heart out.  I closed the door and cried.  How could I tell my dad he was not welcome in our home!  How could I be put in this situation.  I told my husband… "Don’t ever ask me to do anything like that ever again.”  I knew he understood what I meant.  He knew it was a tough spot and wasn’t easy.  When I told my mother later on the phone, she comforted me.  She said, “Don’t feel bad, you had no choice.  You did the right thing.”  She said, “I have been trying to get him to slow down, but you know your Dad.  He really isn’t doing so well.” I said, “Yeah, I noticed.”  I told her about how he seemed weaker and couldn’t keep up with us walking home from dinner.  She believed God was trying to tell him something but he was having a hard time hearing it.  For Father’s Day I flew home and spent time with my family.  My Dad had requested to have all the kids to the house for dinner.  It was unique and rare to get everyone together like that.  I knew I had to go, being I would be the only child not there.  I gave him a special card that day and in it I told him, “You know I have always supported everything you do...and how much I love you.”  He gave me a closed mouthed smirk from across the room and I looked for signs of forgiveness, but wasn’t sure if they were there.  I didn’t know what else to say or do and my heart still ached.



My husbands daughter came for the summer and we enjoyed taking her to all new places.  She was so excited to be in Beverly Hills too!  We took her to the beach and explored the new surroundings with her.  She had a blast.  Her and her Dad went surfing in Malibu and enjoyed the days of summer together.  It was great my husband could afford to take some time off when she was there and make some special memories with her.  We drove to San Diego and visited family there too, so she could see all the relatives.  We made the most of her time there and it flew by.  When summer was over and we had had our fun, she went home.  It had worked out for the best and I was glad we were able to focus on her and make her a priority for the time she spent with us.  


As August came to a close and fall was approaching I got a call my little sister went into labor.  She was expecting twins and it was an exciting time.  Her and I had always been close and I wanted to be there so badly for the birth of her babies.  I flew home thinking this was it.  As I waited, for what seemed like forever, to hear some news if the babies were coming, I sat in a waiting room by myself and watched in shock, as reports that the Princess of Wales, Lady Diana, had been in a terrible car crash flashed across the television screen.  Reports were pouring in that she had been in Paris with her boyfriend and they were chased down by paparazzi as they all angled to get pictures of them together.  Their had been rumors she was getting engaged during their stay in Paris and the paparazzi were more vicious than usual in pursuing her.  This pursuit had resulted in a high speed chase to escape them, and in the process a collision in a tunnel that appeared deadly.  The initial reports coming in were not good.  There was grave concern that she may not survive.  Everyone waited on pins and needles to see what the result of this would be.  I was on of them.  She had been such an overwhelming figure in the public eye for so long.  It seemed impossible that she would not survive.  I thought of her children, and how they were both still so young and how much they needed her.  The loss of a parent at such a young age is so devastating.  I could not get away from the television as hard as I tried.  My heart was pounding hard in my chest.  She was such a beautiful woman, who did so much charitable work.  She made such a difference in so many people’s lives.  In the last years she was more outspoken than ever about helping the charities she was so vigilant about supporting.  



As minutes, which felt like hours, passed, everyone waited patiently to see what would happen.  Then the news came across the television….she had died.  It was heart-wrenching.  As a photo of her graced the television screen in memory, with her warm smile and beautiful eyes, it made me so sad.  Obviously I did not know her personally, but like most people felt I knew so much about her and her life, especially as so much of her life became public through a recent book that was published by Andrew Morton.   What she had endured in life was unbelievable and yet, she tried so hard to fight for her family and make something special of her life regardless of her hardship.  She made the choice to survive in the face of adversity.  She made it her mission to serve the less fortunate and be a voice for them.  To show her sons what the meaning of a public servant was.  She persevered regardless of incredible public scrutiny and disapproval from the royal family.  She used her fame to cast a light on causes that really mattered to her and people that desperately needed help.  She had an incredible heart for the suffering of others.  They say that was due to her ability to understand, being she had suffered so terribly herself, in a different sort of way.  She turned her suffering into an opportunity to serve others.  I admired her for that being it mirrored, in many ways, the way I was raised.  Her death really touched me and gave me a very ominous feeling inside.


It would be determined my sister’s labor was premature and I would return back to Beverly Hills, being it could be several more weeks till her babies arrived.  When I got back home, I stayed up all night long to watch the live broadcast of Lady Diana’s funeral.  The coverage of her passing was on every television, in every newspaper and magazine throughout the airports, and everywhere I went.  Like the rest of the nation, I was in shock and disbelief she was really gone, as I tried to mentally process the loss.  As it turned out, these events would foreshadow what was to come in my own life...and the soon coming tragedy that would irrevocably change my world forever.

♥️LGOF

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