Expectations...


One of the biggest challenges of being raised a minister’s daughter, are the expectations and scrutiny you come under.  This would prove to be one of the hardest things to deal with as a young girl.  My father, of course, fell under a similar critical eye and although he preached the word of God wholeheartedly, was there for people day and night and sacrificed so much personally to serve God, many forgot he was also just a man; husband and father, trying to raise a family.  My father was quick to tell others, don’t follow me…follow God. He would frequently quote the Scripture, “Do not regard man, whose breath is in his nostril” (Isa. 2:22).  And a famous catch phrase he used…Don’t believe it because I said it, believe it because you read it.  He was adamant about preaching the word of God, as it was written, and leaving all of man’s interpretations and traditions out of it.  Living by every word of God and the example Jesus Christ gave us.  He wanted those that listened or learned from Him, to prove it to themselves, always.  There were no exceptions, because that’s what God commanded in 1 Peter 2:21 and 2 Timothy 2:15.


So...everyone was watching, everything I said and everything I did.  There was always a great amount of pressure and someone was always looking over my shoulder.  Over the years, there were people that tried to tear me down, twisted what I said, or meant, to make it into something it wasn’t, and worst of all was when people that volunteered in our ministry tried to turn my own father against me with lies.  It hurt a great deal and was very damaging.  Made me feel like I couldn’t trust anyone.  God always seemed to reveal the truth in the end and His justice always prevailed, but nevertheless, it was devastating to go through.  I was just a young girl, growing and learning, and I wasn’t perfect…but again, everyone thought I should be.  It was like growing up under a microscope or a giant magnifying glass, and I was the little ant under the glass.



This made it very difficult when “the surfer” I had met, started coming around.  He most certainly didn’t measure up to what others thought was the kind of guy I should be hanging around with.  He seemed to show up on a regular basis at the RV resort now, and always made his way over to our motorhome or I would run into him by the pool or club room.  One day his nephew was flying in from Costa Rica and asked if my sister and I, and our girlfriends who were visiting from Minnesota, would accompany him and his sister to pick up his nephew.  We were going to make a big banner welcoming him home and the idea was to have all these cute girls screaming for him, as he got off the plane.  His family thought it would be hilarious.  We were game and went.  I was nominated, being the tallest and most blonde of the bunch, to give his nephew a hug on approach and welcome him home amidst the screaming girls.  I didn’t even know the guy but was trying to play along and have fun.  Secretly I was kind of mortified and embarrassed but I did it.  His nephew was so surprised at this big welcome party, waiting for him as he got off the plane, and all these girls…screaming for him!!  It was like he was a rockstar or something!  Afterwards, we all drove home grouped in several cars and I ended up in the pickup truck sitting between the surfer and his nephew.  We chatted a little and when we arrived back to our motorhome, his nephew got out of the passenger side so I could scoot out of the truck.  When I turned to say goodbye to the surfer, he leaned over and kissed me.  Just a peck on the lips but nonetheless, I was stunned.  I said goodbye and quickly scooted out and told his nephew it was nice to meet him.  


I didn’t know what to think after that.  I assumed if he kissed me that meant something, but wasn’t really sure.  Even though it was the the kind of kiss you’d give your grandma or mother really; I didn’t know how to feel and I didn’t tell anyone.  He had come around the motorhome, and met my parents casually, and began talking with my dad about various things, one of course being the Bible and religion.  I think my dad wanted to know what this guy was doing, coming around, and what his intentions were.  In all honesty, I don’t think the surfer had thought anything out, but he felt so much love and kindness coming from all of us.  He said he felt drawn to us - all of us.  We were different than anyone else he had ever met.  He was surprised by it himself, leaving the beach, and other girls, to come down to the RV Resort and hang out.  It wasn’t exactly his M.O.  He openly admitted to me that he didn’t understand it.  He had not been brought up religiously.  His father was Greek and his mother was from Australia, a mix of primarily English and Scottish, I believe.  Growing up they occasionally attended the Greek Orthodox church back in Indiana but mostly for holiday services, weddings and funerals, and never on a regular basis.  He only remembered going to a handful of church services and they spoke Greek at the church, which he didn’t understand, so never really knew what was going on.  He said he was never taught what was right and wrong, he just kind of had to figure it out for himself.  He was intrigued with the Bible and the way of life my father told him about.  It made sense to him.  He began asking me a lot of questions too about how I live and what I believe.  


This was the beginning of a friendship and a very meaningful one.  The more I got to know him, the more I realized he was genuinely a good-hearted person.  We had a great time getting to know each other and talking about God.  We laughed a lot.  He was so funny, and he had a way of making me feel good about myself.  He seemed to really care about me, as a person, and what I believed in.  He also seemed to love how passionate I was about God and how devoted I was.  In addition, he was very honest and open with me; qualities I really appreciated and admired.  A week after his nephew flew in, I made it up to his apartment in Mission Beach, with my girlfriends that were visiting, and he showed us around and took good care of us all.  He taught my little sister how to surf and we all hung out on the beach with him and his nephew.  After a day of fun, he and I were sitting in a couple of deck chairs on a patio, facing the beach while the sun was starting to go down.  We were taking it all in and chatting about the days events.  One of my girlfriends came by and had her camera.  She said, “Let me take a picture of you guys" and held her camera up.  I looked at him wondering if he was annoyed, because I was a little, that she interrupted us, and as I did - he leaned over and kissed me.  My girlfriend snapped a picture.  Then she kind of looked at me stunned and ran off.  I’m pretty sure she went and told everyone else.  Again, I was a taken aback.  It was just a friendly peck but still.  What was the deal?



After spending quite a bit of time with him, one day, my father approached me and said he needed to talk to me.  He asked me what I was doing with this guy and why we were spending so much time together.  I was confused when he asked.  I thought he knew.  We were friends.  He was concerned.  He told me that he didn’t want me to see him anymore.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was dumbfounded.  He didn’t think that he was good company for me.  I totally disagreed.  For the first time in my life, without much thought, I stood up to my dad.  I told him, “I’m sorry I can’t do that.  I see something in him and he has a really good heart”  And that was the end of it.  My father never said another word.  I was stunned I had said it, but it was the truth and I couldn’t stop being his friend.  I just couldn’t.  I knew in my heart it wouldn’t be right.  I was never so certain about anything.


When our time was up in San Diego that year, it was hard to say goodbye.  He had become such a good friend to me.  I would miss him.  He promised we would stay in touch and we did.  He called me a lot after I got home and we would talk for hours on the phone.  So much so that one month, he said he had a $500.00 phone bill!  The conversations we had were so deep and meaningful and mostly about God.  With all those hours we spent on the phone together we were really becoming close.  I couldn’t wait for his calls and I loved talking to him.  He was quickly becoming my closest friend.  I was still convinced that that was all it was, and at the end of the day, he still wasn’t my type.  I couldn’t really get past that.  After we left San Diego for the winter, he began attending the Bible Study there.  He was serious about learning more.  I thought it was great he was so into it and pursuing it.  He even brought some girls from the beach with him; a couple girls that lived upstairs and someone else he had met, after I left, that he was dating.  He was applying what he was learning, and others around him noticed a difference…he noticed a difference too.


I couldn’t wait to get back to California, to see him and spend time with him, and when I did we picked up right where we left off

♥️LGOF

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