Waves in my heart...


When I returned to California, I was never so glad to see the surfer.  He came down to see me as soon as I got back. We had grown so much closer through our conversations over the past eight months.  We had shared everything.  Amongst the conversations we had, I told him about this guy I dated at home briefly.  He was the cousin of my closest friend in high-school and we met at family reunion I was invited to.  He was sweet, good looking and very attentive to me.  It was a miracle my parents let me officially go out with him, because the rule in our house was you didn’t date until you were eighteen. They had made an exception for this nice, clean-cut boy from Minnesota.  I was shocked, as my dad rarely made exceptions for anything in our house.  We dated a few months but in the end, we really didn’t have anything in common.  He was very soft spoken and our conversation didn’t come naturally.  I would try and talk about things I cared about, to see where he stood but he just never said much of anything.  I found out he wasn’t really interested in me - the person.  One day when we were being playful, sitting on the couch, and I asked him what he liked about me.  There was a long, long pause.  I said you don’t have to list all the things you like about me (being overly optimistic) just give me one.  He said I love the way you look in your bikini.  I was speechless. He couldn’t come up with anything else…that was it?  After two and a half months of dating, and getting to know me, he didn’t have any other thoughts?  My heart sank.  Not again, I thought, not another guy who doesn’t really care about me and who I am.  After he said that, I lost interest and eventually stopped calling him.  I knew there was no substance to the relationship.  Besides it seemed like hard work - dating.  You had to think of things to talk about, you had to try and connect and it just wasn’t happening.  When I broke up with him I think my parents were more disappointed than I was.  I was glad the surfer knew all about it because I wouldn’t have wanted to re-hash it.  I was ready to move on when I got to California.   He had told me about the girl he was dating, the one he had met after I left.  There weren’t a ton of details to fill in the blanks but enough that I had an idea of what the deal was.  After talking so much on the phone all those months there was no catching up to do when we finally were together again, so, we just went right back to where we left off.  He was still dating the girl he met so I knew I would meet her eventually.  But for now, he and I had fun hanging out, laughing, spending time together as friends, and talking about God.  It was great - just like old times.  It was so awesome to be back in California.  I just felt like myself here.  



Shortly after I arrived, I was set up on a blind date through a friend of the family.  He worked with a guy he thought would be perfect for me.  He was tall, dark and handsome and he knew that was my type.  I was game.  My friend, who set us up, and his wife double-dated with us - the guy was nice and he was certainly handsome.  Conversation at the dinner table wasn’t exhilirating but fine for a first date.  After dinner, we drove down to the beach in Coronado and he and I walked down to the water together.  It was dark out, but very romantic with the ocean waves crashing loudly.  We talked for awhile and next thing I knew he was wrapping his coat around my shoulders to keep me warm and then…he was kissing me. We began dating.  The deal was, our friend of the family - the one that introduced us  - was our chaperone on most of our dates.  It was fine with me, being I was good friends with him.  He was married to the gal that had come into the Bible study from the very beginning.   Her and I had been good friends for years.  She and her husband both attended our Bible Study now and knew me well, so I felt really comfortable with them.  It was fun actually.  I knew they had my back.  And the two guys knew each other from work, so the four of us were a comfortable and familiar fit.  We dated for a couple months, but the more I dated him the more the interest wore off.  We just didn’t seem to connect on a deeper level.  Again, he seemed to be interested in only one thing after awhile.  The thing I wasn’t going to give up.  I had to laugh when he told me to call him if I changed my mind.  Yeah right, I was thinking, you think you can compete with God?  I don’t think so.  I was still spending time with my surfer friend, all the while, and I enjoyed my time with him so much more.  He connected with me in a way I didn’t with any other guy.   He was just a better guy at heart.  When I would hang out with this other guy, I found myself wondering what the surfer was up to.  I thought, this is really stupid.  Why am I dating this guy when I don’t really like spending time with him?  Yeah, he’s tall, dark and handsome but who cares.  There’s really nothing there.  Things fizzled fast after that and we broke up.  I was happy to not have, the the stress of dating and just to enjoy being in California with my friends and our Bible study group.  Once again, I found myself quickly over the guy thing. Every time I gave it another shot I was disappointed.  It was so disheartening to find these guys so shallow, so uninteresting and with no passion or interest in God.  I wondered how their life could be fulfilling without a relationship with God.  Didn’t they realize that was what life was all about?  I never pushed it on anyone and you could tell if they were interested or not.  Sometimes they appeared interested for a moment and then it passed quickly or they would change the subject.  Other times I felt like they pretended they were interested just to appease me.  They were really more interested in their cars, careers and various hobbies.  All these guys were older than me, by at least a few years, but they seemed so immature.  I just couldn’t relate.  I was a pretty serious person,  knew what I wanted and was very passionate about living my life for God.  When there was really no substance to these guys, I was ready to move on but always tried to give them a chance, or the benefit of the doubt, to show me something real - from their heart - their soul.  I never got it.  


On the other hand, the surfer was all heart and soul.  It was one of the reasons we connected so much.  It was amazing how real he was and how much depth was there.  I never tired of talking to him and getting to know him more.  I felt at home when I was with him.  It was easy - no stress.  We were open with each other and honest about everything.  There was no show, no pretending.  The conversations were always meaningful and about real things; life, love, God and all that mattered.  A couple times he brought his girlfriend around.  It was a little awkward I have to say - even though he and I were not an item.  I certainly didn’t connect with her though.  I felt like she was trying to be a certain way in front of me and could tell she wasn’t sincere - towards me anyway.  She knew all about me, as the surfer had told her and shared with her about our friendship.  I think she thought it was cute and that irritated me.  Ultimately, I didn’t see her very often but still saw the surfer regularly.     He would still come down to the RV resort and hang out, so that didn’t really change because of his relationship with her.  He was attending Bible Study, so knew everyone we hung out with and was friends with everyone by now.  His girlfriend had come a couple times but wasn’t really into it.  I got to know his family a little better too this year.  They were amazing people.  I loved being around them.  They were so friendly, kind and caring…much like their son.  They knew how to throw a great party with homemade greek food galore!  His father was Greek and made everything from scratch.  That was my first introduction to Greek food and I fell in love.  The surfer and I had gotten so used to talking on the phone for all those months I was at home, that when he wasn’t hanging around the RV resort I would call him from the phone booth inside the club room.  Sometimes we’d talk for a couple hours, before he would go to bed.  It was always the perfect ending to my day.



In our conversations, he started to ask me questions about baptism and what it meant.  He didn’t know anything about it.  I had been baptized a couple years prior, so was pretty familiar with the whole process and the emotions that go with it.  I had thought long and hard about my commitment before I made my decision.  Even though I was raised in God’s Ways and lived by them, I knew full well that making this kind of commitment was huge.  Especially because of who I was, the ministers daughter.  I had better be sure when I made that vow to God.  I knew that I was already living wholeheartedly for Him but I was just entering my teens.  I knew there would be a lot of temptations coming my way and I figured I would be better off with the extra strength, of God's Spirit provided through baptism, than to try and navigate it on my own.  I explained to the surfer, you had to be ready to make a commitment.  You had to know in your heart that you were ready to put your hand to the plow and serve God on a daily basis - no turning back.  You had to know - without a shadow of a doubt - that you were ready to live God’s Way and give up all of your old ways.  It was a life-long commitment.  He had been learning and living for God, taking baby steps in his life, over the last year, and realizing what a difference it made.  Putting into practice the things he had learned, he had proven to himself that it was real and it worked.  He was overcoming evil by doing good like it says in Romans 12:21 and Psalms 37:27.  He was more interested in doing good than evil.  He began to see evil for what it was, and wanted less and less to do with it, as he pursued righteousness.  It was transforming everything about him and it made him look at things much differently, than he ever had before.  His eyes were wide open.  I was really excited and happy for him.  I had given my heart to this friendship and really done my best to try and help him along but he was doing the real work - the hard part - all on his own.  I was so proud of him.  


Shortly thereafter, he decided….he was ready.  I wouldn’t realize then, how his decision to be baptized, would make waves in my heart and how it would change…everything

♥️LGOF





 © Love Goes On Forever 2017     |     Email: contactme@lovegoesonforever.com