The next morning I woke up eager to get back to the hospital. When I arrived I was shocked at what I saw…my Dad was off the ventilator! I was completely stunned and so excited! He looked like himself again and I was excited that he would be able to talk. It was miraculous! His room was buzzing with excitement and hope that things could turn around. Everyone was speechless at this new development. After having the tube in his throat for days he could hardly speak, except in a soft strained raspy voice, it was very difficult. That was okay though, it felt like a sign he was getting better and that was all that mattered. After the last few days, feeling hopeless and devastated, this was a huge turnaround. My mom looked pleased and relieved, but also a little bit concerned. This was a huge development that no one was ready for. Today was all about making him comfortable and adjusting to the new circumstances. I was so excited he was up and awake. That day was so joyful for us in so many ways. After spending a day with him we went home again and my mother stayed by his side.
The next morning I went to check on my sister and her new twin babies. They were so precious and I couldn’t wait to see them again. I had seen them briefly when I arrived into town but was so focused on the intense situation with my Dad, that I hadn’t been able to really spend any time with my sister and the newborns. I was concerned about her so decided I would go visit her, before heading to the hospital again. As I was spending time with her and the babies, her phone rang. She was nursing the babies so I told her I would get it. I ran to the kitchen and answered the phone, “Hello?” It was my Mother. “Hi Mom, is everything okay?” “Yes,” she replied. “I need to tell you something and you better sit down” she said. Immediately I had a wave of concern rush over my body. “Okay” I said and slowly sat down. "I am sitting here with your Father and he wants me to read you something he just wrote down” she cautiously said. “Okay” I replied as my heart began beating faster. She began to read my Father’s words to me slowly, “I don’t have the truth….you do...Love Goes On Forever. God is love. God came to show us how to be like Him, by imitating Him daily. It’s simply by continually doing good for Him daily by learning to be servants of others.” Then there was silence on the phone. I couldn’t speak. There were no words. My mom spoke up, “Are you there?” “Yes, I’m here” I said softly with tears in my eyes. “I know its shocking but he wanted me to call you right away and share this with you.” I knew it had to be hard for her to even relay this message to me. “I know it’s a lot, I was shocked myself” she said. “Yes, it is” I replied. “Are you going to be okay?” she asked. “Yes, I’ll be alright” I told her. “Okay then, I am going to get back to your Dad. Are you coming in today?” “Yes, of course. I’ll be there shortly.” “Okay, I’ll see you in a little bit then.” “Okay” I said and gently hung up the phone in shock. I stood in my sisters kitchen completely shocked at what had just happened. It didn’t seem real. I began to cry in disbelief. I ran to tell my sister. She was in disbelief too. We both couldn’t believe these words came out of his mouth. That he would even say something like this was not like him and how intensely he wanted to share these words with me was also very profound. I hadn’t been using my special saying, Love Goes On Forever, for years because after awhile I started to feel like maybe it was juvenile, being it was something I created when I was a little girl. Maybe it was a little silly. I was trying so hard to be grown up, being married and all. Sometimes I had the urge to use it again but then I told myself no, that would be silly, even though it still meant so much to me. This changed everything. That my Father would have this revelation, so profoundly right after coming back to us, when we thought he might die was just breathtaking. He was not a proud man but was the most confident, driven, passionate man of God I had ever known. For him to say these words to me so humbly, and acknowledge that I had been inspired, as a little girl, and given a gift from God in the precious words…Love Goes On Forever…was a gift to me beyond measure, it immediately connected us in a way I cannot even put into words. It was a connection of heart, spirit and soul. Deeper than anything one typically experiences here on earth. There was an instant knowing, of something so much greater than us. I couldn’t even process it. All at once my heart was full. When I arrived at the hospital we did not speak of it. There was no reason to. We just held hands and looked into each others eyes. He did convey to me a few more, very personal things that I will never forget, from Father to daughter, that again touched my soul deeply. Things I never thought I would hear out of his mouth. Again, there was a connection between us that was beyond this earth, beyond body, mind and soul. It put me at ease and filled me with love for him and for God. It was the most touching day of my life and probably one of the most profound.
The next couple days were pure joy as he continued to be able to talk more. He wanted to see my sister’s twin babies, just born in the same hospital a couple floors down, and so she brought them to him. It was a special moment. He had eagerly awaited their arrival and was so happy to meet them. A lot of my family didn’t return to the hospital right away and had jobs to go back to, so the hospital was quieter and there were just a few of the immediate family there with him. It was peaceful and a blessing. Because he was awake and doing better everyone felt he would make a turnaround and resumed their lives. He had even gotten out of bed and got dressed and was trying to walk around his room but could barely take a couple steps. It was amazing to see him in his clothes again. Things were happening so fast I couldn’t really process what was going on. Next thing I knew my mom was telling us to prepare the house because he was going to come home. I was speechless. Really? Was he ready for that? I couldn’t believe it. My husband began preparing the house and was going to build a ramp to get him into the house, being he would be in a wheelchair. We began eagerly preparing for this huge change. Something inside of me was still unsure of this and I could not come to terms with this whole idea. Something didn’t feel right. I was so happy at the idea but still gravely concerned about his condition.
The day before we thought he would come home the doctor met with my mother and I. He began explaining to us that my Father was in very poor condition. His heart was badly damaged and he wasn’t sure going home was the right idea. Not that we couldn’t take him home, but he needed us to understand the reality of his condition before we did. He began explaining that his quality of life would be very poor. His heart was so limited that he would struggle to do anything…even the simplest of things. His heart was not at a capacity to support a good quality of life. He would be restricted to a wheelchair permanently and would not be able to care for himself at all. He was incredibly weak and would remain that way being his heart did not have the capacity to keep up. There was also a chance his heart would just give out. This is not a man that is going to get any better. Do you understand what I am telling you? My mother and I stood there perplexed and confused. What was he saying exactly? Then he continued, “If he lives…he is not going to live very long.” The breath was stolen from my lungs. What??? "Are you sure" I asked? Yes, I am sure. I am sorry to have to tell you this but I thought you needed to know and I wanted to explain so you could understand. I know he wants to go home but that is really not possible. Sadness came over us like a storm cloud brewing overhead, black and dark. My mother and I looked at each other, finally understanding the reality. How could we go back in his room now without him seeing the looks on our faces. How could we hide the reality of all we had been told. I think for both of us, we still had a glimmer of hope, in knowing that God could do anything if He wanted to and maybe there still was a chance he could be restored, someway….somehow….please God.
After talking to the doctor, I couldn’t go back in my Dad’s room right away. I had to collect myself and my thoughts and process all I had just heard. I felt bad for my Mom going back in there. After talking to the doctor all she could say to me was, “It’s up to the Lord.” If anyone could diffuse the situation for my Dad it was her. She had such a gentle, caring, loving spirit that could soothe the heart of anyone - especially my Dad. I sat in the waiting room in shock. Was this really the end? After all our hopes and dreams of a recovery and he was going to come home tomorrow. I called my husband, who was cleaning out the garage for my parents and preparing for his return. “Dad’s not coming home tomorrow” I told him. “Really?” my husband said. I began explaining to him all the doctor had shared with us moments earlier and I could feel my husband’s heart drop over the phone. I knew the feeling well and was still reeling with all the internal struggles I was having. I could tell he did not want to lose hope either and could still hear a glimmer of it in his voice. I tried to assure him, even though I too did not want to believe it. What the doctor said was not reality to me yet. We didn’t talk long and he said he would be up to the hospital in a little bit to get me for the night and bring me back to my parents.
The rest of that day we made the best of it and spent time with him still very confused about how to feel. There he was laying in his hospital bed, no ventilator, talking to us like normal, holding hands. His cheeks were rosy and he looked so good. I still wasn’t sure what to think. I still thought in the depth of my heart….God can perform a miracle. God can strengthen his heart. He is a mighty man of God, we need him - so many need him. God please save him. Please spare his life. He is your servant who has devoted his life to Your cause, to spreading Your truth, teaching Your Ways. Let us keep him Lord….please. I kept praying those words in my head and could not come to believe he would die. God would surely perform a miracle to save His precious son. My husband arrived later and I went home that night still in deep thought and prayer. My mother stayed at the hospital again. I hadn’t wanted to leave but with my mother there, there was no reason I needed to stay. She told me she would call me if anything changed and I knew she would. As I drifted off to sleep…I continued to pray…save my Father, Lord….please save him.
♥️LGOF