The day he was baptized was so thrilling. All the long hours on the phone, all the time we had spent together, had all come to this. He was being baptized with three other people that day and so I wanted to do something special for him. I stopped and bought some roses. I wanted to buy them just for the surfer, but then thought that would be odd and what would the others think. I should show up with something for everyone. After all, they were all part of our Bible Study. So I bought four roses. One for each. I left them in the car, hidden in brown paper, as a surprise for afterwards. After my father explained to them all the commitment they were making, and reminded them of the Scriptures they were fulfilling, they were dunked in water - each individually - and then he prayed over each one. When he prayed over the surfer, I was very touched by his prayer. It seemed extra special. That meant a lot to me and surprised me just a little. I knew he had never been that crazy about the surfer, but felt that my father could finally see the heart of the man, that I saw, so early in our friendship. I hoped he knew now, I had made the right decision. But now...it was time to celebrate! Out came the champagne glasses and the room exploded with joy when the sound of the champagne cork popped! Everyone was buzzing with electricity and bubbling over - literally. The woman, who was hosting the baptism, came up to me and said, "I heard you bought roses and I was wondering if you could spare one, so that we could give it to the gal that was baptized today?" I told her, "I was going to give one to everybody.” She said, “Do you mind if I give it to the girl?" I was kind of caught off guard, in the moment, and said, “Yeah...sure.” I think she thought that, being she was hosting the event, she should have something to offer and was unprepared. So I went and retrieved one of the roses from the car. I was kind of confused as to what I should do now with the other three, and thought it would be weird if I handed them out now - to the other two guys and the surfer - so I left them in the car for the time being. We took pictures of everyone, laughed and talked about living “the good life” as we clinked our glasses, and everyone was so overjoyed. It is the best feeling when you are baptized…you feel so clean and so pure - like brand new and ready to start a beautiful and blessed life. You feel like you could conquer the world. Its simply awesome and I was so thrilled for everyone…especially my surfer friend. I never knew our friendship would lead to this.
When it was time to go, the surfer offered to give me a ride back to the RV resort. I had wanted to talk to him, and ask him how he felt, so I was so thrilled when we rode back together just the two of us. We were both so excited. When we got in the car, I saw the three red roses hidden in brown paper. I picked them up and said, “I got you something to commemorate this day.” He seemed surprised. I opened the brown paper and saw the three roses. One of them was slightly larger than the other two. I looked at him and looked at the roses and all of the sudden it hit me...I saw something...and was overwhelmed with heartfelt emotion. I said, “There are three roses here….the two smaller ones represent you and me, and the larger one represents God, being He is what bonds us together.” He was so touched. He thanked me and hugged me with tears in his eyes. He said it meant a lot to him and was so special. I was a little surprised what came out of my mouth. I hoped it didn’t sound corny, but it was really how I felt. Our friendship was all about him, me and God. It was a perfect trifecta. As we drove back to the RV resort, we chatted excitedly about it all. I felt even closer to him now. I couldn’t really explain it, but this experience was very bonding in our relationship. Our friendship just kept growing - getting deeper and deeper. I had never experienced anything like it before. I had a feeling, deep down…the tide was about to change.
The rest of that winter went by fast. Before I knew it we were going home again. I was bummed. It seemed like my life was happening in California and going home was like putting it on pause. There wasn’t much happening at home. I was a junior in high school. I had more than enough credits to graduate, so half of my day ended up being study hall and instead of sitting in school, my dad signed me up for the work program which allowed me to go half days. I would go home at lunch and work for him, typing up his sermons on the computer most days, or do filing and organizing. That was far more interesting to me and more fulfilling. School was simply drudgery now. When would it be over. It seemed like my life was in slow motion when I was there. I would get home and wait for the surfer to call. He was still dating his girlfriend, but the relationship quickly began to dissolve after his baptism. He had made a commitment and was going for God and she was clearly not interested, in the God part, but did not want to let the relationship go. I supported him over the phone the best I could. It didn’t seem to be too difficult for him, as he was determined to live a godly life and she wasn’t. She tried to get him to change his mind and thought it was just a phase and it would pass...but it didn’t. He was wholehearted and honored his commitment before God. After they broke up, he and I were both single, and that made me happy somehow. I knew I had feelings for him - I just wasn’t sure what they were. So I decided it was time to figure it out. That summer I made a special trip to California on my own, with my parent’s blessing. I stayed with one of the Bible Study families and he came to visit me there. I remember he brought me yellow roses when I arrived. They were beautiful and I asked the woman I was staying with…”What do yellow roses mean?” She said “They are for friendship." I was a little disappointed. I still had a lot to figure out and the roses were no clue to the answer’s I was seeking.
I had an amazing time while I was there that summer. There was a different feel in the air. It was much warmer and steamier in San Diego, than when I was normally there in the winter. It felt like a real vacation in many ways, but then, more like home than it ever had before at the very same time. I felt like I belonged here and it was different, because I wasn’t with my family now. I was here, all by myself, as a young woman. It was a feeling difficult to explain. We most certainly grew closer that summer and it felt like things were changing between us. I was certainly more attracted to him than before, but attracted to who he was - not so much how he looked. He still had that “surfer” look, like when I met him…blonde hair, just above the shoulders, sort of purposefully messy and his low key and effortless surfer clothes. We went to dinners and somedays he took me to lunch, on his lunch hour, and we spent some time by the beach - where he lived. It was fantastic. Every night he would bring me back to where I was staying and drop me off. One night he hugged me and then wouldn’t let go of my hands when we separated. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and then said goodnight. Now, I wasn’t sure how to read that because, in the almost two years I had known him, he had kissed me like that twice before. Once when I first met him, and once like a month later. That never ended up to mean much, so this kiss could be...that of a friend or was it more? I wasn’t sure. It seemed more sincere that’s for sure…with the lingering and hand holding. It was a clue that would sit in the ‘maybe' pile for awhile.
We went to a party, one of his friends was hosting, across the street from his place at the beach one night. There were a lot of young people there. There was music playing and the surfer was incredibly social, so started making his way around the room and chatting it up with different people. I was not quite as social, in a strange place, so kind of stood to the side and watched the whole thing, feeling a little unsettled and awkward. A young guy approached me and started talking to me. He was engaging and we chatted about nothing much, but at least he was someone to talk to. As I was chatting with him, the room seemed to fill and before I knew it the whole place was wall to wall people. I was towards the back of the room and there was some kind of stage at the front of the room, where there were giant speakers with music flowing from them. As I was chatting with this guy, I suddenly heard my name being called loudly and filling the room. Next thing I saw was the surfer jump from the stage into the crowd and he was crowd surfing towards me! I stood there watching…eyes wide open and speechless! When he finally landed near me, miraculously on his feet, he asked me what I was doing…like nothing had just happened. Still stunned I told him, "I was just chatting with this nice guy" and introduced them. He said, “ That’s cool" and looked at the guy and said, “She’s with me bro.” In that moment, I thought I detected just a hint of jealousy. His crowd surfing, and calling my name out, seemed like an awfully grand gesture. At least the grandest in my lifetime thus far. It was another clue and I tucked it away for later.
The day before I left we went out again by the beach, where he lived. We spent a little time at his place, rode bikes together on the boardwalk, picked up a few things at the local surf shop and went out that evening. After dinner we were walking back towards his place along the boardwalk and we stopped along the way. He laid upon the sea wall looking up into the night sky at the stars. I was standing on the beach side, the cool night sand squeezing through my toes, looking out at the pitch black ocean, as I listened to the sound of the waves crashing. We weren’t saying much in that moment but taking in the night - each in our own way. I had this incredible urge to go over and kiss him right then. It was like high tide in my heart…a force rushing through me, filling me up, that I couldn’t run away from. I turned around and approached him with my heart racing. When I was finally standing beside him I bent over him, laying on the sea wall, and kissed him with everything I had. He stopped me for a moment, then returned the kiss softly and gently instead. It was…in my opinion….our first real kiss. I remember it like it was yesterday. I can still smell the salt in the air, hear the waves crashing on the shore and feel the cool sand in my toes. It was my first bold declaration of affection towards him. All the clues I had collected, led me to this moment and I felt certain. This was definitely more than just a friendship.
I was sad to leave but knew I had to. My senior year in highschool would be starting soon. My only consolation was I would see him again, when we returned for the winter, just a few short months from then. Until then, we would keep in touch on the phone as usual. Our conversations on the phone became more intense. Now, when I would tell him about different things I was doing at home, he would ask more questions than usual. He always wanted to know what guys I was hanging around with. I always assured him they were just guys from our Bible Study but sometimes he sounded a little concerned. I thought it was sweet. While I was away he made some radical changes in his life. He told me he was thinking of leaving the beach. He felt he needed to get away from there. It didn’t support his new lifestyle of living a godly life. He would tell me about his apartment search and the different places he looked at. He always asked me what I thought. I always told him, “It’s your place so it should be whatever you want.” He would make some unusual comments like, “I want you to like it too.” I always said, “I’m sure I will, but don’t worry about me.” When he found the place he was serious about, he called me. He explained it in detail, more than usual. I said, “It sounds nice.” He said, “Well, do you like it?” I said, "I don’t know I am not there to see it but its sound good.” He said, “Well, I really need to know because it means alot to me to know how you feel.” I didn’t know what to say and I was processing what he was trying to tell me. I said “Why do you care so much what I think - it’s your place?” He said, “Because I want you to feel comfortable here and I hope you’ll be spending a lot of time here.” Aaaahhhhh. I see. When I finally realized what he was getting at I said, “It sounds perfect.”
As our conversations intesified over the months, so did the knots in my stomach. I found myself constantly thinking of him. Waiting on every call. As the day approached, to return to California, the knots in my stomach only increased. I had lost my appetite and over the course of the few months we were separated, I had lost ten pounds, without trying. My mother kept saying, “You’re so thin!” I would reassure her and say, “I’m not trying to lose weight mom - I’m just not hungry.” She would say…"You're lovesick." I would blush and say…"No, I’m not” knowing full well, she was right. I most certainly was.
I thought I was more than ready to see him, but no matter how I prepared, I was in for a huge shock when we landed in San Diego...
♥️LGOF